kitsune crazyness
by crazed zombie
Summary: i decided to screw with everything in the naruto universe narutos naruto but gaaras a girl. femgaaraXnaruto.


so here i am sitting and i had the strangest thought ever. gaara get in here.

gaara:what do you want

me:nothing iam just going to help you with a different view of life

gaara:wait i think that weird furry guy told me about you

me:oh him yeah i wont do anything i did to him to you

gaara:you should be a car salesman

me: any way this is a gender bender

gaara: ha what poor sap are you doing that to

me: ill give you a hint his name begins with a g and ends in aara

gaara:oh no hell no listen here you bastard

me: time for the magic words sheep ba booop baby

gaara:those are the magic words your an idiot hair grows to mid back

me: no those are the ones for the hair

gaara: holds hair oh crap you bastard

me:the body of coarse shaazaam ba bam vavavavavavavoooom baby

gaara:i hate you so much sprouts breast waist slims hips expand legs slim

me:wow you actualy make a pretty girl dude

gaara: what the hell pokes breast

me:your a petite woman dude

gaara: so why exactly did you decide to be such a bastard

me: iam pairing you with naruto and i dont like yaoi

gaara: so why is he not the woman he turns into one frequently

me: well i wanted to see what you would look like as a woman and i got to say nice

gaara: make sure you keep the white haired idiot away from me

me:i make no promises

gaara:i seen how he treats women keep him the hell away from me or you will pay

me: fine ill keep him five foot away from you at all times

gaara:tell the damn story

me:ok ok to the story

-- -- -- -- --

kankuro put him down a girl with red pig tails growled at kankuro.

ugh yeah akako i was just helping him up kankuro said nervously.

i apologize for him hes an idiot akako said jumping down to them.

my name is sasike uchia who are you sasuke asked looking at her slender build and small bust.

i am akako and i am more interested in who you are she said pointing at naruto.

ha iam naruto uzumaki the future hokage naruto said pointing proudly at his chest.

i guess we will be seeing you at the chunin exams then akako said walking away. _oh my shukaku why didnt you tell me about he other container hes cute i think iam gonna have some fun._

_**what wait i dont like men you hear me kill him and get a woman one with some melons **_shukaku howled in her mind.

hey akako that uchia was pretty hot and he was checking you out temari said patting her shoulder.

i dont care i want the blonde one and iam going to have him akako said smirking.

man i feel sorry for that guy kankuro said frowning.

quite moron why dont you go play with your dolls and fix your makeup akako said enjoying the indignant look on kankuros face.

its not makeup and there puppets kankuro said pouting.

dolls and makeup akako said adjusting her gourd.

well at least iam not some flat chested kakuro was stopped midsentence by sand engulfing him.

we better get to the exam and i suggest you shut your mouth akako said.

--**at the exams**--

i am naruto uzumaki naruto screamed loudly into the room.

he certainly is confident temari mumbled slightly irratated.

i like it akako said blushing as she eyed him.

i just hope he isnt aloud to talk during the exam kankuro said.

take your seats the proctor demanded akako made sure to sit next to naruto.

after getting al the answers she noticed naruto hadnt even started _he know something i dont she thought_ seeing naruto looking calm.

agh crap naruto muttered under his breath _ok remain calm remain calm the tenth question it will save my ass naruto thought_

_hes so confident even iam a little nervous about this and i have a guranteed method of cheating akako thought_ looking at his closed eyes.

ok time for the tenth now let me explain the rules if you get this question wrong you fail automaticly and will be genin for the rest of your lives ibiki said gaugeing the responses of the class.

_oh i get it he knew this all along akako thought_ watching him leap up and scream at the proctor.

i dont care if iam the oldest genin ever iam not giveing up you jerk naruto screamed and pointed accusingly at him.

_i cant wait till i can get him alone_ akako thought pervertedly smileing at his antics.

ok you all pass idiki declared and naruto begain dancing happily.

_he knew this all along damn hes gorgeous and smart akako thought_ enjoying the view of his ass she was getting.

ha iam anko mitsahrashi and i will be your next proctor the woman declared jumping in through the window.

you jumped the gun there anko ibiki said calmly.

lets get to it tommorow eight in the morning the field of deat she said leaping back out the window.

field of deaf naruto said looking confused.

_i think hes deaf akako thought smileing_ as naruto scratched his head.

she said field of death dobe sasuke declared smileing at akako.

fild of death like a cemetary naruto begain pondering its appearance.

agh akako grunted in response to narutos idea.

lets go get some ramen to celebrate iam buying naruto said leaping up and down.

sure hey akako you want to come sasuke said giveing her a flirtatios look.

no thanks she said going to her brother and sister to go to there room.

--the next day in the field of death--

nusicances she mumbled having just dispatced with te third group of ninjas to attempt to kill her.

_**so much blood i love it i love it great idea leaving the group so more people would attack the helpless little girl shukaku said laughing madly.**_

_i dont plan on being a little girl much longer when i find my naruto out here iam gonna have my self some real fun i bet his blood is sweet she said mentally to shukaku._

_**thats my girl lots of blood crush him make him scream in pain shukaku said getting excited at the thoughts floatin in his head**__._

_no i only want to cut him a little and make him mine she said to shukaku smileing._

_**i know some things that willl make him beg ill tell you if you promise to give me a nice big taste of his blood shukaku said smileing a pschotic smile.**_

_ill give you that taste but you better be right she said to him now intent on finding him._

finally she mumbled as she spotted naruto under a tree stump surronded by genin form the leaf village.

ok i will have to be quick she said teleporting quickly to naruto then out with him again.

naruto grunted as she carried him to her tent.

_hes not that heavy and it looks like he got into a serious fight she said taking him into the conceled tent._

_**ok now listen up you want him to be happy so he comes back for more shukaku said smiking pervertedly.**_

_yeah what do i do she said expectantly to shukaku._

_**ok you wore the underwear i told you to so now take of everything but it shukaku instructed.**_

_alright she said _slipping her shirt and pants off.

_**ok now straddle his lap and press your breast aganist his chest shukaku said happily.**_

ugh what hit me naruto mumbled as he stirred form his sleep.

oh ho my little fox is awake she growled seductively into his ear.

ugh i dont know how i got here and i dont know what you got planed but i aint talking naruto said blushing as he looked at her in he red lacy bra pressed aganist his chest.

i dont want you to talk iam gonna offer you a deal she said raising up and grinding aganist his groin.

deal what deal naruto tried to get up but found himself restraind with what appeared to be sand.

well i have here two scrolls you need she said holding up a earth and heaven scroll.

naruto struggled even more aganist his restrants and growled what do you want.

heres the deal i want you to sastify me if i am satisfied i will give you both scrolls and let you leave she purred and grinded herself aganist his hardening erection.

what do i get if i dont he said his eyes turning red.

well you get to try again and again till you do she said smirking and claiming his lips.

--meanwhile--(lol i always wanted to say that)

wheres naruto sasuke said looking under the stump that was previously there shelter.

narutos missing they all said in unison.

--back with naruto--

if you want me to then your gonna have to free me naruto said.

just a minute she said sliceing his shirt in half and cutting a small part of his chest.

hey what are you doing naruto demanded before she begain licking the blood from the injury.

iam haveing myself a little drink she said as she glanced back at the cut and realized it had already healed.

ok but warn if you are gonna do it again naruto growled as he flipped her under him.

what are you doing she asked seeing him make hand signs.

you will see he said as three more narutos appeared in the tent.

_**oh hohoho hes gonna make you squeal in joy he said grinning ear from ear.**_

_whats he planing she asked _curiously before one of the naruto grabbed her and removed her bra.

you are beauiful he said before nibbling lightly on oe of her nipples will massageing the other roughly with his hand.

she moaned in approval naruto more she demanded grabbing at his pants.

naruto slipped out of his pants quickly and jerked her panties off quickly what ever you say he growled playfully.

she growled in pain as he streched her inner walls _whats this she demanded of shukaku._

_**it hurts the first time done worry it will go away and hes gonna stand still till your ready shukaku said wince at the pain he himself was feeling.**_

naruto paused and saw she was in pain you ok he asked eyes turning back to there normal blue.

just give me minute she said trying to sound like she was still incharge.

naruto waited several minutes till she thrust her hips forward giveing naruto the signal to continue. agh you gonna scream till your horse naruto said thrusting ruffly into her.

agh ugh she moaned in mix of pleasure and dull pain.

naruto smiled and increased his pace until he felt her becomeing tight he felt himself near and before he could say anything he came he moaned in pleasure. its time for anther round he said smirking and moveing away from her.

as the next clone started to thrust into her wildly ugh oh naruto more more she demanded as she felt her orgasm come and he didnt stop or slow down.

ugh oh iam gonna cum naruto moaned as he thrust into her then poofed away.

oh she moan loudly as she felt her orgasm and the pleasure of the cold air being pressed all over her heated body.

ha the naruto said as he leapt onto her not even giveing her a chance to rest and she begain moaning again.

--several hours later--

ugh oh akako iam cumming naruto groaned then came into her.

oh god naruto she moaned as he snuggled next to her.

satisfied naruto asked smileing smugly.

very she said closeing her eyes and snugglying into his chest.

i better get going before my team worries about me anruto said grabbin his pants. he looked at her when she didnt respond and realized she was asleep.

naruto grabbed the scrolls and was about to leave when he heard a voice call him hey kid you not done yet he truned around and saw akako turning into a monster.

huh what naruto studdered as he looked at the mosnter before him.

i get my taste of blood and i will be a good boy he said ferociously.

what ugh she did that for you he said nervously as he saw sand behind him.

not the same i only tasted some of it now i want my taste so come here he demanded and the sand pushed him forward.

naruto yelped in pain as the creature sunk its teeth into narutos neck and shoulder.

yum the creature cackled wildly and naruto leapt back then grabbed his neck and winced in pain.

hey you jerk anruto said seeing the creature was already truning back into akako.

iam getting out of here naruto said as he raced off looking everywhere for his team mates.

hey naruto came the lazy voice of shikamaru nara.

hey you dobe your team is looking for you ino yelled at him.

yeah i know i got kidnapped or somthing naruto said rubbing the back of his head.

wheres your shirt choji asked inbetween chips.

it got tron off in the fight naruto said blushing slightly.

ok lets get you back to the stump ino said angerly.

after a few minutes of runing naruto sakura said cheerily and then punched the boy in the head.

what did i do i got kidnapped its not my faul besides looky what i got naruto said pulling out the scrolls.

what the dobe actually got the scrolls of someone ino yelled.

you bet and this makes up for the one sasuke lost naruto said smileing smugly.

hey i got a scroll back already sasuke said holding up the earth scroll.

ugh hey naruto we could use that other scroll ino said biteing her index finger.

huh ha your not getting it naruto said handing them both to sakura.

i know who needs this sakura said handing the earth scroll to the injured lee.

ugh sakura i will cherish this forever lee declared before grabbing his side in pain.

yeah sakura said sweat dropping as lee hugged the scroll.

well since the dobe did somthing right for once lets head to the tower sasuke said pointing in the direction of the tower.

hey you have no idea how much trouble i went through to get that freaking scroll naruto declared blushing slightly at the memory.

yeah you look like you took a beating shikamaru said point to the large blood stain on his shoulder.

--at the tower--

wow so we finally can spend a night indoors sakura said walking into the building and running to the restroom.

yeah and it only took us a day to get here naruto said frowning and yawning tiredly as he headed to one of the rooms to see if there was a place he could sleep.

huh akako said as she turned around to see naruto staring at her.

wow naruto said as his eyes trailed up and down her nude body

like what you see she said fondleing her own breast.

yeah hey what was up with that weird monster biteing me naruto asked trying to focus.

come in and ill tell you everything she said sitting down on the chair.

ow wow naruto said seeing her hairless womanhood. he quickly closed the door and locked it.

--with the exam proctors--

wow anko check out whats going on here one of the people observeing the video cameras said point at a screen.

wait isnt that the demon brat one of the men said getting a glare from anko.

holyshit what the hell how does she bend like that anko said tilting her head to the side.

i dont know but shes a sand ninja and there just thirteen wow he said eyes wide in shock at seeing the girl blowing naruto.

ugh we should turn this off the black haired man said.

ugh yeah we should also tell kakashi anko said looking a little sick.

-- -- -- -- -- --

me:dadadadaduuum

sakura:what why where.

me:oh hey sakura why are you here

sakura:who the hell are you and why are you green

me: i am crazed zombie and i blame brussel sprouts

sakura: why am i here

me:i asked you that question i honestly have no idea

sakura:why are you here then

me:to tell them about the next chapter of coarse

sakura: chapter??

me:next time iruka talks to naruto about the birds and the bees naruto gets leid again sakura gets her ass kicked

sakura:what why!!

me:tune in next time


End file.
